And hello, again. I've taken some time to withdraw my energies from the online spaces for a time, but I'm feeling an inspiration arising to return to these spaces, for another go. I've in mind to take this slow, perhaps, and to find a /flow/ that suits me. Well, I decided to make my 'return' to this blog, a snippet post, as I had a bit of creativity to share, from around the time I took some online /silent/ time, give or take'ish. Anyway, here is it:
Maybe catch-up to current in the posts ahead, I'm thinking.
I suppose I haven't made a post in some time. I've got a lot swirling around in my head of late, and perhaps this post may provide a slice of centering for me. Couldn't hurt I think. Like the last 'currents' post, I'm gonna share my books I'm 'carrying' and maybe ramble a bit on something, we'll see :)
Well this is the lot of them, for now...
By/so far, my favorite translation of the Tao te Ching.
I've included a pic/blurb about this previously, and I gotta finish this read thru at least.
My trusty nook, well, at least it's nifty cover :P The idea, is to increase my fiction intake with this. Tho I also have non-fiction on here, of course, hehe.
I am most interested in embarking into this book. The same translator as the 'The Tao of Power', you may have noticed. This being his interpretation of Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War'. He proposes a year long option of tackling this, which I have chosen as my approach. Hopefully I can keep it up. 52 passages, to be reflected upon, one per week. I am utilizing the wonderful Evernote /web version/ to record notages for each week.
Suppose a blurbage by-way, to satisfy my centering desire on this blog thing.
I am beginning to strongly desire a better mode of living. I feel very frustrated in this 'living-with-parents' mode I'm currently in. It's just too messy. I've expended a lot of energy, in heavy cleaning sessions, in several rooms in this house, and really put more than a dent in more than 50% of the problem. But its a hopeless cause. I've tried shedding light on my father's role in the problem, but his stance is essentially "I'm too old to fix my ways, don't try to change me." Which then follows him ordering me to clean up his mess. Like wtf... I clean, and 1 week later, you've completely undid my work, and its my job to fix it again? I'm trying to 'keep a calm composure' and maintain the spaces I can find peace and clean and order within, and setting some boundaries as far, at least, as not volunteering any of my available energies to keep his problems in check. Whatever, so of late, this 'strategy' book is providing a bit of clarity. In interpersonal conflicts, sometimes you just gotta change the situation. So, I need to seek self sustainability, or at least make the best effort I can into this direction. For this, I need more money. More hours in my current occupation will not be the solution I am looking for. I've got it in mind, to make an attempt at doing the 'education thing' again, and try on a 'Pharmacy Technician' avenue. At least, that's my current idea that has has popped up in my world, which a current co-worker is seeking to do already.
So now, what do I need to do to make this happen... Well, I need to re-appropriate my spendable income. Keep the maintenance items and consumables in order. Limit the big ticket items, and postpone the ones I keep. Pay off my /credit/ type debts. And be responsible with my 'occasional chunks' of money: like a bonus-type thing sometime in December with work, and tax return next year. So at least in my awareness space, that I am sharing this from now, this strategy book is helping a lot, by daily reflecting, and if nothing else, keeping me focused on caring about my life, dangit.
I wanna just flow a tad, with free form/style thoughts in these spaces...
more tea / less coffee
maintain nicotine habit for now / don't stress about quitting
inspired moments of exercise / more mirrors
less calories / more water
less luxuries / more practical, budget minded choices
less devices / more content
less shortcuts / be more helpful
less rush / more mindful awareness
I'm either crazy or sane, but I'm gonna try to be determined either way. This is what happens with over a month between posts, I guess. Chaos! :P
Well take a deep ~peaceful~ breath, in..... out, "aaaaaaaaaahh". Thank you for stopping by.
Apparently, R.L. Wing is a woman. My apologies! :x
Well, I'm not gonna do a weigh-in for this. As far as the weight thing, I'm a bit discouraged. To those ends, I think I'm going to have to return to monitoring my caloric intake. I'll probably return to the MyFitnessPal app on my phone, which has shown success in the past.
Anyhow, I'm making progress in the scheme of things, relating to health. Namely, I've been working at making a qigong/meditation session a daily thing, more or less. It's just 2 qigong exercises currently, which I took from that 'Shaolin' book that I recently added to my collection. And immediately following those 2 exercises is roughly a 10 minute sitting meditation (zazen), usually adding up to around a 20 minute session. Just this, is really having an overall positive effect for me, I think. I'll share some examples.
I'm starting to learn more about my breathing, more aware and involved in the process. I tend to be able to breath deeper and slower, in a more regular pace, when my mouth is closed and I am breathing through my nose, which I'm enjoying lately. There's different types of breathing that I am exploring, one notable being 'reverse abdominal breathing', in which you compress your abdomen on inhale, and relax/expand it during exhale. I suppose this skips the step of deep abdominal breathing. If you tend to breath by expanding/relaxing your chest, you'd want to first lower that to your abdomen.
I'm starting to think of my abdominal breathing, in general, as a generator for energy, when I employ deep breathing, consciously. It's quite interesting, how the muscular/skeletal structure, is all tied to this 'center of gravity' area of the 'tan tien'. In this regard, during the sitting meditations, following the qigong, my conscious breathing is teaching me to be more aware and involved with my posture. It's quite interesting, allowing my breathing to make little adjustments and suggestions in how I carry myself.
I guess, also in regards to breathing, I am developing a more aware attentiveness. Not sure how to really explain this, but it feels better and more natural when I am tending to an activity. I guess 'focus' could be one word applied. Anyway, moving on I suppose.
The qigong exercises are quite simple. But I've been noticing, specifically, how my back muscles, involving my spine, are attached and involved with my arms. Such that, if I work on my arm strength, I also notice it in my back, and whatnot. As well, the qigong is also helping to develop my posture, as well as my body being rooted to the floor. Currently, though, I am having an issue with my left foot, in the 'ball' area. I wore through the stock insoles in my shoes, in that area, and that really messed my foot up a couple weeks ago. I'm on my second set of insoles, trying to fix this, but I'm already planning to try a third insole in this vane. I dunno if it's noticeable, but I'm avoiding limping by pushing through the pain. Limping is a bad idea, as well, or trying to avoid the ball of my foot, such as putting weight on the outer edge of the foot, I don't need more foot pain, blah.
Anyway, this means I haven't been doing any jumping of rope. But I'll figure out a solution soon I hope, and when foot thing is resolved, I'm planning to implement that jump rope in a hopefully, somewhat daily fashion.
So, today has been a good day: I did a qigong/meditation session before work, and also this evening. After the evening's session, I did a few sets of pushups, some dumbell 'curls' I guess they're called (only 10lbs, but I'm tending well enough to them), some power tower interaction, which led to some enjoyable tidying! :x...
So, I guess I'll try to re-initialize that counting calories tomorrow. Sounds like a good idea. I suppose even if I just count too many calories, its a step in the right direction, and I'll have a better idea on how to proceed.
I resist guilt for these upgrades. I'm keeping the items smaller, and hopefully I'll be able to stray away from my past 'future-proofing' habits of the big ticket items, more so. So let's see, where should I start in this ~catch-up type post...
How about here:
These two items have a specific purpose obviously, and they are serving their purpose very well so far. I should have taken steps in this direction a ways back, but whatever. Essentially, I've lived my life a mouth-breather, and I've always hated not being able to breath through my nose. Such a futile struggle I fought, without taking some proper intelligible steps, until now... So. This past week, I've begun to employ these upgrades, and trying on a new guise, in these regards. And I'm enjoying the ability very much so.
There is a notable advantage I'm taking advantage of already, which is allowing the tip of the tongue to rest in contact with the palate/roof of mouth. This is a 'gate' in the Taoist realms that connects the functional and governor meridians (a path in the back / spine and a path in the front / involving organs and such), the lower 'gate', as it were, being the perineum. What does this mean, well, it means I'm now able to approach day to day reality, with my meditative states more easily at hand. And this is a good thing, in my opinion.
Hmmm, so what upgrade next, yar. Let's see...
Another knife? I must be returning to my past spending habits, ACK! But "nay," I say, this too has purpose. It's a double edge, which carries with it, my powers of focus and achievements with such devices. And its more discrete than my latest 'good' pair of knives. Thus, I am adding this, so far, to my at home casual attire. This is to be around the house, inside, and out, as I deem ready. This may be all the 'action' required to assert the 'double edged' aspect of my being into reality (the pattern, as I interpret it), although I am adaptable, tho I short-sight myself in these regards, at this point. So casual at home wear, is this upgrade...
And more? Yes, I've been essentially busy, I suppose.
I added some more adapted items to my home free time, which is having the noted effect of turning a lot of my free time at home into a training state of mind. I won't snap pics of these, but I'll include a link if you want to check these upgrades out. First up is a pair of Thai Fisherman Pants, which turn out to be absolutely fantastic in practice. Mindset, roominess, there's a lot of subtleties to them for me. So I'm happy about this upgrade. And next, is a pair of shoes adapted well enough, as well, to a practice mindset, and are turning out to perform very well for their desired purpose.
The belt, I think I at least alluded to previously. I guess I'll link if for giggles :P I've come to like this Dickie's brand for the utility/functionality and the belts do not disappoint. So the new belt is sized 36, has 7 holes, and upon checking earlier this evening, I was/am using the 4th/middle hole. Older belts I have hanging in my closet are sized 42, 40, and 38, I suppose you could have guessed perhaps :). Yay for numbers, ya ?
Uhh, more? hmm...
I've been having quotes, from having read this back in college, flittering through my head for weeks now, and I knew exactly where these words originated from, so I was obviously drawn to owning another copy of this much beloved book again. And so it is so. Still love it, though I am appreciating it at different depths this time around, which is just beautiful! :)
An added blurb regarding this qigong book: I've mentioned this book to a co-worker from my job, and further let her hold it and leaf through it, so after I finish this read-through, it'll be on loan to her, which I think is a win-win situation thing here. YAY BOOKS :D
And yes, another! :)
Ironic, the highest regarded mentor I've encountered in my life considers himself of the Buddhist persuasion, and I've made it thus far without a serious inquiry in these matters. So, this would be my intended foot in that door, and so far, I am enjoying it, but I don't feel like I've gotten to the meaty parts yet, unless its just wonderfully subtle like that with it's own inherent buddha-nature ;)
Oh golly gee, what I am I getting myself into with this next item? :x
"Leave no stone unturned" ? Uhhh, mmm k. I'm sort of saving opinions / ideas on this, but I'm curious how they approach the subjects of meditation, qigong, and their martial artist bents. We shall see, yes.
Oh for the love of trees~~
I do love trees, tho, and I love the current iteration of my ebook reader, which is the Nook GlowLight Plus. I'd recommend it, I think. I started on the nook side of readers, because right out the gate, they supported the 'epub' format, which for some reason, was my deciding factor. The body/back is metal on this iteration, which doesn't have good grip, so I'd recommend a case like the foto'd solution.
I do ramble tho, here's a shot with the title being at the top of the page: "The Three Ways of Tao: The Peaceful Warrior". I think I recall this started in the Italian language, and from my recollections, I did not find the english version in physical form, but I don't mind it as digital (tho illustrations suck :( ). In any case, this book is effectively blowing my mind. But in a totally good and connected way. Good stuffs, ya'lls :)
Dear, sheese, let that be the end ? I really shouldn't procrastinate these posts/updates. I do apologize, but I do have one more noteworthy upgrade. :x
An interval timer, as they are called. Of all the noted upgrades in this post, I consider this one to be most expensive, all things considered. I'm brainstorming uses for it, but I can say, it is succeeding at improving my meditation sessions so far, as no more venturing a glance at my watch. It allows for beeps, with two volume settings, as well as a vibration option. So far, no complaints.
Sorry for the long post. I'll try to be more diligent about sharing what I deem shareable in a more timely and slimmed down fashion.
But either way, till next time, ~peace be with ya :)
Woo-blah, guess it's as good a time as any, for another one of [these] posts. I'll just start with a weigh-in then:
Bloody 210 lbs and in only 'workout' attire. Shameful, as looking back at 'health update #7' on June 25 in full 'casual weekend get-up' was 211 lbs. Well, I could argue that I'm converting fat to muscle, but blast, whatever, it's frustrating...
This tower 'opponent' has struck a low blow, as I just received a new 'upgrade' today for my fight towards a pull-up. I saw it coming, but, well, not really, not like reality setting in today. Here's the dang upgrade, and its pretty wicked:
I am not ready, not for this :/. Cigarettes just aren't gonna fly for this new toy, and that presents an issue. I just now drowned/destroyed the last 9 cigarettes I had on hand. I've destroyed plenty of cigarettes in my never ending plight, so I'm not banking on my resolve just yet... which is sort of disheartening to me right now. In any case, I have to put up some sort of effort, ya?
So I'm setting new intentions into my routine, as I'll state here, be it the death of me, or not.
Intents, for daily, I share:
1) Meditate and some extent of Tai Chi practice and/or study, ideally twice per day
2) Engage tower to some extent
3) Engage pushup bars sufficiently
4) Engage this wicked rope thing
Geeze, this is gonna kill me, if I stick it out, I swear :x. Along with taking care of my health aspects, I need also to clean the house completely, at least every area accessible and possibly interpreted as part of my living space. And be humble about letting this simply be 'setting a good example' and continuing to clean up after... well, after cleaning the house completely, yes?
Oh dear, this fight is formidable ahead of me... Some lighter news: I have to order a smaller belt, as I've reached the last hole of my current size. This new belt will be the 4th belt, in their 'declination' existence, so, well, that's [something]. I suppose I could drop 2 sizes instead, but that wouldn't be as fun, ya know :P.
A new thread I guess. This is to be casual I think, regarding to everyday things (EDC and such). For today, I feel like sharing the books I am casually perusing and carrying in my everyday book bag. So here they are:
My therapist actually knows of this, and was impressed when I showed him my bagged books last Friday. (This is my second copy, if I am not mistaken.)
This has been around the block and is my first and only copy I've owned. Definitely deserving of more attention.
And what's to say of this. "Edumicate me, Sun Tzu..."
So many years since I enveloped taoistic interpretations onto paper. I ought return and I already have planned intentions of an approach. In any case, I thought I'd share a simplified example of a snippet of getting to know Tao in my earlier years. Hope this translates well for you:
And a more legible version of ch3:
Ch3 KEEPING PEACE
Do not exalt the very gifted,
And people will not contend.
Do not treasure goods that are hard to get,
And people will not become thieves.
Do not focus on desires,
And people's minds will not be confused.
Therefore, Evolved Individuals lead others by
Opening their minds,
Reinforcing their centers,
Relaxing their desires,
Strengthening their characters.
Let the people always act without strategy or desire;
Let the clever not venture to act.
Act without action,
And nothing is without order.
~translation by R.L. Wing
Chapter 6 appears legible enough I think. Anyway, just a tangible example of reduction by simplicity.
In other news, I hope to take care of completing the task of cleaning the 'dining room' today. And I was thinking to put my T'ai Chi Ch'uan studies on the back burner for a time, but my therapist told me yesterday that it's probably a good idea to keep involved with that practice, even with so much on my plate. So. I'm planning on resuming practice/study of that form at some point today.
I'm also starting to get into video games, which is nice and timely. I'm generally happy about this :) I think so far, I've been primarily enjoying an SRPG on ps3, "Record of Agarest: War Zero". I'm also planning to start a first person dungeon crawler, in this case on PSTV (vita game). I'm gonna attempt this one to be "Demon Gaze". If that doesn't engage enough, I have a fallback I may mention if it comes to that. Not sure what I may undertake with my Desktop. I think probably a boring point-and-click adventure game: I'm thinking the anniversary edition of Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers. I played through its sequel a long time ago "The Beast Within", so I'd like to play the first story in the series.
Anyways, where does the time go. Don't worry, I'll be returning to the ~peace's for now. So take care peepz.