Wednesday, January 30, 2019

the problem with~

The issue with 'Tao', as much as I love pondering it in any ways I can think of, is that silence is so attractive.  So there, I've said that.  Till next time?


Friday, December 14, 2018

debt free...

and deliberate.

At this current point in time, I have nothing in my sights, materialistically speaking, nothing to strive to acquire.  Nothing to add to my situation.  Got a library card/membership recently.  Add the fact I have a kindle ebook reader already, I'm still getting into the groove of having so much legit reading available.

Wow, nothing in my sights?  No shiny new 'thingies' to acquire, what is the world coming to.  Well, I've added 'dusting' to my routines, at least in the spaces I've claimed within the house I share with parents.  Still gotta tend to the bathroom (that's the plan for today, yar).  Simplifying/minimalizing is not so overrated, imo.

Not looking for coherency all at once on here, for now.  But I'm still doing, so let's keep on keeping on.


Monday, December 10, 2018


to be fertilized...
lovely posting again...


Saturday, July 28, 2018

update for the sake of it

I've often times fantasized a path of solitude, akin to life in a cave.  As a means of quiet, steady focus, what could be accomplished when distractions of the outside-world could be minimized and contained.  With an absence of person learning irl, an experiment in a perennial sort of time-frame.

Well, I've limited my outside interactions to a degree, and my daily satisfaction is not really much at the mercy of the outside world.  Some things come up of course, where I have a choice between dealing with them or stressing, or usually some mixture of the two responses.  I've accustomed myself to a life with no Facebook, which is think is an improvement.  I only have a very small twitter presence, and my posts are more fewer/far-between than in the past.  I obviously have not been posting much on this blog, either for that matter.  I've disabled/hidden my online dating apps, and I'm comfortable with the lack of social stimulation, that I have assumed.

I've been working on habits, with more or less success, such as counting my calories, zazen (zen sitting meditation), qigong, and taking moments of mindful breathing during my daily life.  I still have many desires, among them, currently:  I still want to quit smoking (21hrs and 12hrs being my latest successful no-tobacco stretches over past 2-3 days).  Mainly its nothing spectacular, such as cementing the zazen and qigong sessions to a daily discipline.  Daily medicine/vitamins.  Making my bed each morning, making 'tidying' more of a daily activity.

I also desire to simplify my life where I can, and where it's practical.  I've started supplanting my dietary needs with foods I buy myself, which is new, in this stage of life (still living with parents).  I have a newly established pantry within my bedroom now.  I've only just begun digitizing/ripping my bluray/dvd collection, with the intent to offload at least a good portion of them, afterwards.  I'm also seriously considering ridding myself of a decent amount of my physical game collections.

As per finances and such, I'm working less than I was a year ago, but I now have Medicaid (so no more health premiums) as well as SSDI (supplemental security disability income), accompanying the schizophrenia diagnosis.

Oh I forgot, I've been desiring to do more of the art, perhaps including the Wacom drawing tablet I still have in my arsenal.  I've somewhat recently gone 'Linux' on both my desktop and laptop.  I purchased an ebook humble bundle oriented on linux, programming/scripting, and arts (gimp/inkscape).  So that has a decent chance of broadening my digital experience.

What else...  I dunno, Linux is fun tho, you should do it!  :)  (I'm currently using Linux Mint 19, with Mate).

Thank you for visiting and reading this post.  Till next time, be well.


Wednesday, March 7, 2018

currents #3

Oh for the love of absences.  Been subdued and keeping my outputs to a minimum for a good time now.  Reading bits of 'self-help' non-fictions and Taoist materials.  Minimalism and budget minded stuffs.  Just finished a great book (minus the workbook stuff at end) by a Laurence G. Boldt, "The Tao of Abundance: Eight Ancient Principles for Abundant Living",which I would recommend if your interested in such things.  Also slowly accumulating bits and pieces towards a new hobby I'd like to take up.  Beading based jewelry/arts.  I've got some beads, needles, thread, a book for beading jewelry for beginners, as well as a book on esoteric talismans and such, "The Tao of Craft" by a Benebell Wen.  I'm so excited by the Tao/Craft book I'm finding myself at an odd/hesitant point of getting into it, for being so excited.  I don't know, that happens sometimes  :P.  In any case, I am planning to jump into some simple beading projects once I add one last item(s), which is a tray/mat solution to keep my beads from escaping my workspace.

That's maybe something to keep in mind/aware of, tho, personally.  That hesitation stemming from enthusiasm.  Happens a bit before I start/resume an artwork session too.  Maybe see about ways to lesson that anticipation or perhaps ways to just set myself into a task, regardless.  Anyway, here's one piece of artwork I managed to complete somewhat recently:

Among other things I could be mentioning, is a direction/goal orientation to implement, in relation to quality of life/ health stuffs.  I'm currently thinking/focusing on dopamine as results to less than wise lifestyle elements.  I've long been aware I have an addictive personality, which sucks, to a degree.  So some things I'd like to resolve with this 'dopamine' focus are like: cut out the pr0n/fapping;  reduce the cigarette smoking/till i can quit them altogether;  cut down on caffiene (an idea to replace coffee/energy drinks with green tea for example);  cut out the sugar/junk food element;  and add some of the good elements, like:  healthier foods, exercise, DAILY (for the love of pete) meditation;  and in the same vane, a daily qigong practice.  I've also found in my research, that activity/ goal completion comes with some of the reward/dopamine response, so essentially staying on top of the basic stuff (paper work, making bed, putting away laundry, basically keeping my personal foot print(s) well in order).

Of course the beading and other forms of artwork are intrinsically rewarding, so hopefully I can make them more of a regular part of my life.  Oh and this blog  :)  I know, it's been awhile since I've kept this little thing up, but hopefully I'll keep this up and we will see what happens this time around.

Guess that's more or less a reasonable update, imo.

Till next time, ~peace, yalls

Saturday, August 5, 2017

points in time and space #1

Considering a /maybe trial run/ of ramping up blog posts here again.  I'm meandering through budget type books and minimalism stuff, which seems to be having a more/less decent effect on my approach to my life/style i guess.  I've been keeping up a fairly daily habit of taoistic ruminations, and, not to sound too weird, I'm kinda feeling a bit more at home and natural in my skin and surroundings.  Here's a current focal point in my bedroom which has been having a good influence on letting go of/ donating things, as well as processing and taking care of items (tasks, like):

Within past week, I've donated some tech gadgets, such as:  old webcam, old ps/2 kb I don't suppose I'll ever need again.  An old nook hd+ tablet that I had rooted and had cyanogenmod (think vanilla android) working on, and factory reset, for another owner to enjoy hopefully.  Mouse, I really don't need 2 spares, so...  I did destroy one tablet I got frustrated while attempting to wipe (it wasn't charging, surge accidentally was switched off, need be more mindful!).  Gave a foldable bt kb to my dad.  I guess that's a close enough summary of some cleaning out stuffish.

I had done a little pen and ink (nibs and ink bottle) sketch somewhat recently, And I started off this new space by adding some color, with water color pencils.  I still have yet to see what adding some water may finish it off like.

Now that I look at this style, its a common style I had used during some crazy/rough patches in college, tho revived in a different tenor.  I like the idea of something like a flower/bud sort of energy bursting through something rough like rocky/ground, all the while adorned with some nasty sharp thorns.  I think it may represent...  actually, perhaps more labels would hinder the process at this point.

Well, this post was neat on my end.  Came together via a budget tablet (amazon fire tablet, dang if I didn't already get rid of an iPad Air!  hehe)  I had the pics on my older /still nice/ canon camera.  For the picture transfer tho, my camera was still loaded with a full sized sd card, which won't play with my tablet so much.  But I discovered an older mini usb port on my camera.  And at some point in my consumerism idealistic haze, I was trying to connect a ps3 controller (ds3) to my cell phone, and had a very short, 6 inch OTG cable (mini to micro usb), which, aHa, fit the physical components of a connection between tablet and camera.  And lo and behold, I found the cable, and it did in fact work.  I ramble, but this is the sort of techy junk that can entertain my brain at times.

So, I dunno how far I may be interested to follow this tao flavoured minimalist path.  But no matter, whether I get rid of more stuff, or just start buying less, or some reasonable lifestyle updates at any rate...  I'll at least be able to keep up the blog posts with a budget tablet, if at that extreme, I ever find myself without a pc to harness.

Ok, so where does such a post fit on this blog  :P

*rummages through frayed threads*  erm, looks like this post is worth a new thread, so many threads!  :x

till next time, keep up the good fight, fellers

Sunday, July 16, 2017

reflections and observations #8

Just some mentions about my recent mindednesses.  I'm struggling to engage video games, as is habitual I guess.  I'm trying to adjust to a tighter budget, and make more mindful and wise choices.  (less income, higher health insurance premiums, rent went up).  yadda yadda yadda.  I have a desire to purge some possessions, but I'm having trouble rationalizing it.  As in, logic of keeping, vs peace of mind in letting go, of fill-in-the-blank.  I'm rolling around the idea in my head, of sensory inputs having influence or at least some 'effect' on my person.  What movie I may watch, or book I may read, e.g. "fiction or non-fiction tonight?"  Pr0n, I'd be curious to discover if there's any validity in keeping this sensory pasttime, hmm.  Life does seem to be simpler without a 'bonafide' significant other.  In fact, recently I decided not to indulge impulses of wanting to 'pursue' for purpose of courtship/mate.

And I think I do desire to resume my practices of visceral real experience.  hehe, lovely words ya?  Meditation.  qi-gong.  tai-chi.  yoga.  handling/dancing my double edge possessions.  I dunno.  "Meaning" sometimes flitters in and out of my awareness, on things, it seems.

Well.  I'll also note my desire to seriously break open this Java programming book, and hopefully, Finally Get A Handle on this "object-oriented" nonsense.  And there's more or less a goal to shoot for in this vane.

And...  blah.  Go figure  :x