Friday, December 7, 2012

and then...

...there were 4...  4 weeks that is, of no tobacco.  this is big for me.  started stepping down the nicotine intake too, regarding the ecigs.  started at 24mg, now at 16.  next steps are 11 and 6.

in parallel, working to make meditation a daily routine.

boredom is bothering me less, and in 'over-thinking it', i think i may be on to something. hehe

alright, till next time...

...peace  :)

Friday, November 16, 2012

I can finally post on this again. oh time flies?

minus a short, and maybe 2-3 butts, (yah, I gotta fix the ash tray situation), today makes 7 days of nicotine replacement therapy...  uhh, hehe, yeah that sounds ok.  e-cig and gum, and "away [...] goes"

1 week and counting  :)


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

if I had to....

uhhhh.... thinking "no"

ummmmm, right, I couldn't put a price on it, really...

What's the meaning of sentimental value anyway?  Well, its just a stick, from 'round yr 2000.  Here's a couple more shots.

What a 'stick' right?  Just a blurb, I guess:  I was finishing up carving it when my first love dumped me.  "oh so sappy".  And I found it while on a bible study camping trip thing the weekend before.  Meh, thats enough blurbage.


Thursday, September 27, 2012

just a post for a post :P

Well I still like it and it still suits me:

just to mention a few bits i guess...  i5-2500K, gigabyte Z68 motherboard, a kewl lian li case, 8 gigs of mushkin redline DDR3 1600 with good timing stats (7-8-7-24) - cas latency 7 which was kewl when i researched that stuff... umm, oh, Nvidia EVGA GTX 580, thats some gaming power...  dvd burner, and bluray burner (what for, I'm not sure yet).. 900W Antec gaming PSU,.  I think the cheapest backlit logitech kb i found (G110) (backlit, YAY, and cool customization options for colors  :)...  what else?  arg, what a boring post...  --Oh yea, I finally tried the Raid 0 thing with 2 500gig HDDs, so I have a 100gig system partition and the rest for games mostly, which is pretty fast, and kewl that I finally tried it  :)--

Did some work on a few co-worker's PC's recently.  Kinda playing with the idea of word-of-mouth getting around and doing more of that, maybe consider getting a business license.  umm, still haven't checked out that Edgar Cayce's A.R.E. (maybe tomorrow).

Oh, and if I finish that danged pencil drawing, she said she'd gimme another picture to draw.  Yippee, Gosta love the simple pleasures  :P

I have a goal to FINISH The Last Story game on Wii.  I just went thru the knight trials.  But I can sometimes be very distracted or very idle.  We'll see what happens.

Alrighty for now, Peace~

Sunday, August 19, 2012

a little closer, perhaps

spent maybe 10-15 minutes more on this last night

so maybe i can motivate myself to finish it already, sheese...  its sooo -unfinished

In other news, my therapist kind of threw me off in my last therapy session.  It happens, I'm relatively close to Edgar Cayce's A.R.E. (Association for Reasearch and Enlightenment) H.Q. in Virginia, and he suggested I check it out.  Of course stuff like this interests me, but being schizophrenic (at least off and on i guess?) I didn't expect any kind of advice like that.  Guess its just my thinking of 'should stay away from that stuff' so I don't get caught up in 'another delusion'.  So, I'm intrigued.  Maybe I'll allow myself to be open to planning myself a visit there sometime [soon?].

Or maybe I'll finish this picture first.  Kinda gives me the impression of being somewhere between hopeless and just about there, haha.  I can see something tho, so its all good.

Could be another post soon, perhaps  :P


Saturday, August 11, 2012

but i like that story...

for example...

we are immensely important people, race, species, in an immensely important time in history (within time) and we will be successful in evolving into immensely grand, unimaginable ways, and playing an immensely important part in the evolution of the universe.

or this...

we just happened to be in the right place and time in the universe for life to 'happen' and it probably has happened plenty of other places/times, and we just have one life to live and experience, and then we return to stardust from whence we came.


there are higher dimensions, and we've not much else place to go than up in the evolutionary cycle.  of course people are at different points, but we are moving in the right direction, in evolutionary terms, and there's no mistake or whatnot too big that we will not inevitably return to source, when all is said and done...


there is no point pondering the supernatural or extraordinary because the essence and beauty of life is to be found in the simple moments of ordinary existence...  there is no one right or wrong way to approach life, and different opinions or beliefs or views or stances are ok, disagreements are ok, and it is ok to speak your mind.


the magical and miraculous and spectacular is so appealing and fun...  so what if we can't ascertain the unknowable.  What's wrong with believing the culmination of 2012 will 'change the game' forever.  Why not believe levitation is completely feasible.  Why not meditate with a pre-conceived set of ideals and a goal in mind to be achieved...

and then...

but i think its enjoyable to entertain flights of fancy whether I am on the skeptical or the apt-to-believe side.  I think I'm going in the right direction right now, with paying off my debts.  I've heard it said, and am apt-to-believe there should be no pre-conceived goals or ideals while quieting the mind and sitting.  I am drawn to thoughts having to do with reduction, and love the idea of simplicity.  I don't find myself very involved with politics and team sports, and I think signing the occasional petition that strikes my fancy is enough to give the world, on a minimalistic basis.

to go further, or beyond ?

I'd like to reflect/ponder on what a highly respected individual told/hinted to me years ago regarding big mind and small mind...  That idea has struck my fancy  :)

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

some scribblin, yippee..

Just felt like expanding some ideas of an idea i've had for a while.  Visually at least.

Initial thought:

and that being expanded....

Alrighty then, Peace  :)

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

and so it goes...

Not too sure where this blog is heading, but I've carved out a space here to share whatever, in any case.

I'm officially an uncle as of June 19, yeah, pretty sure that was the day.  Lost a pet the following day, and somehow didn't keep track of days/dates so much at that time.

Anyhow, I feel like going out there a bit with my thoughts.  By sharing at least.  Somehow my mind came up with "one hundred thousand miles into the future" a few weeks ago I think, and its been repeating itself in my head off and on since then.  It led to some fun thoughts, and a newer appreciation for "stillness in motion" which has been a favorite thought of mine when I first dabbled in meditation and qigong and such, more than a decade ago, now.

Essentially, I've got it boiled down to everything is still while in reference to 'itself' and everything is in motion from any point of reference 'outside itself'.  Or that's a simplified version of what I'm trying to convey.  So I thought down to the atoms that make up one's physical self.  And noted the protons (nucleus perhaps) and electrons.  These electrons are zipping around at prolly close to the speed of light, and are in motion when the little proton looks at them.  But I've got to assume some force holding them within relation to each other is causing that center in the atom to do some jiggling of it's own.  So essentially, the electron is in motion while in reference to the proton, but the proton would be in motion, if you'd think of the electron as the element that is at stillness.  The thought works for me, and maybe you can follow.

Anyhow, our physical selves can also be observed to be at stillness, with everything else in harmonic movement around our trusty ol body.  This thought I've enjoyed for many years, since the days of getting high and dancing to techno, with principles of tai chi dancing within my head.  heh.

Anyhow, I think this could lead to stillness of mind, so one could see everything as in motion, and the observer, overseer, whathave you could remain in stillness (~silence, if you will)...

And going on my previous post, I can share a wee bit regarding spirals.  The top pointing tetrahedron doing a counterclockwise rotation, would be the male aspect, while the clockwise rotating downward pointing tetrahedron would be the female aspect.  Which can be associated [logically?] with left spin being with left brain, and right spin being with right brain.  This is only a stepping stone I guess.  My really kewl experience regarding this stuff, is when I have the right brain and the left spinning tet. repel each other with their opposing nature, whilst the left brain presses the female tet. into her spin, while being nurtured and stimulated by that downward tet.'s [propulsion] force.

Essentially it seems to have an 'opening' sensation within my head, and just feels...  [good]...

Not sure what this type of post will spawn as a followup, but the more I fear I'll run out of ideas of interest, there I go inspired with some other nifty trick.

did i tell you i once attatched logic to my right side, intuition to my left and danced them together outside of time?

Maybe a normal boring post next time.  Maybe a picture.  oh, i bought a digital camera  :P

ah, heck, PEACE!

Friday, June 22, 2012

~perception, apt to mine~

Well, I just thought I'd share a little from my mindscape.  I've been playing with some ideas I've read some on recently, regarding sacred geometry, for one, as related via written word by Drunvalo Melchizadek (hope that's wRite spelling :P).  Don't mind these ideas if they are scattered, its fairly new thought for me, and while inspired by the named Author, these ideas are apt to my perception.

Fooled around a bit with angles of triangles, namely equilateral traingles, which was actually fun thinking within my mind about angles (numbers) and geometry (shapes).  Sorry, if I'm vague, but I can choose that with new/fresh thoughts.  Tetrahedrons have greatly interested me since my first (and only) read through of Initiation by Elizabeth Heigh(sp?).  I still love pondering how it was claimed there that an inside out (pretty sure thats how they put it) tetrahedron would be the essence of the four sided pyramids some may have come across.

Anyhow, It interests me geometrically how the simplest (yes, my perception) 2d shape the eq. triangle can be utilized to create the [simplest] 3d shape.  So I question degrees of said triangles.  60 degrees from bottom horizontal looking from the inside.  Or 30 degrees from our closest axis (isn't that Y?) outside the triangle.  Anyhoo, my left brain basically enters a 'neat' space at this point, as I tilt that triangle we're looking straight at a little to the back, such as it would lay within a tetrahedron [that has its bottom triangle being on the x/z plane.  And 51 degrees is also kewl cuz it has something to do with pyramids i think, sooo...

Drunvalo has some neat thoughts on what is termed the MerKaBa.  Said to be two tetrahedrons, that one pointing up, being transposed with another pointing down.  It is said to surround the body, and it seems it can be visualized statically, or spinning in opposite directions, I believe (believe~think i recall) the top pointing tetr. spins counterclockwise, while the bottom pointing tetr. spins clockwise.  I'm not done studying this of course, hense the newness, and I try to take new age stuff like this with salt when I can.  Essentially tho, its kewl walking around with these spinning tet's, where as the opposing spirals involved with walking, sync up with these tetrahedrons.

(darn, I'm gonna have to give my ideas of spirals in a MUCH SHORTER post than this one now, haha)

Anyways, I admire your resolve if you've read this far, and if you just skipped ahead, then I apploud your [honesty?]  And now, a work in progress, that I intend to finish (see: Soon)

Last, but not least lest we forget;

Thursday, May 10, 2012

so little time (?)

I've not been creating anything for awhile now.  I have been enjoying being a consumer, I suppose.  Reading a few books, fantasy, and some new age stuffs.  Playing some games.  Even watching tv/movies.  I do have another picture lined up to draw.  I think I'll do that soon.  But I'm only thinking in the long run, so who knows what soon means.

I tend to read slow, like taking my time, but so far A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire, i think) is pretty entertaining.  I bought Season 1 of the show on bluray and postponed finishing it, as I started reading it.  Anyways, sorry for the lack of content here.  Next post should be another picture.  Woohoo.


Wednesday, March 28, 2012

go out [there] again? meh, why not?

Posting a piece of artwork twice, so it may be more easily perceived what I'm going for...

First picture is an imagined view from within and below, looking up.

And second, just an [out there] depiction of a human form.

For note:

white - lungs
red - heart
green - liver
yellow - spleen and pancreas
blue - kidneys

Any point to visualizations such as these?  Well, personally, I like to be able to visualize stuff.  There may some point if one is concerned with something like kundalini?  I haven't really looked into the likes of that so much.

Just wanted to share a visual thought.  Maybe draw a more attractive human form tomorrow  :P  haha.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Ok, it's not necessarily Friday.

Hadn't planned on drawing today, but I started playing around, and...  better than smoking a cig, fer sure.

A second drawing of girl #1.  Hand a great time in Gimp with my tablet.  I can imagine learning lots of nifty tricks with this combination.

So, maybe another picture tomorrow or Friday.  I mean, hey, at this rate, anything is possible!  :P

Oh, and I don't know about that reply function for comments.  Don't seem to recall that.  I'm gonna have to get used to that new fangled feature.  heh

Alright, peace y'all

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I can be so lazy, But...

This is my 3rd day without smoking anything.  Well, save for an ecig.  So sue me.  Last real cig I had was Saturday afternoon I believe.  Yah, I was off yesterday, and could have drawn another picture.  But it was easier to resist buying cigs by being as lazy as I could be!  haha.

I would really like the majority of my posts on here to have some sort of artwork.  So I recently connected my drawing tablet to my good desktop, and installed gimp.  And came up with this:

Perhaps a bit far out, but not really.  The black outline is of a human form (an idea of one at least) that I came up with when I was in college and experimenting with drugs.  The colors within the body are colors I gleaned while studying taoist stuffs.  The idea is you inhale energy into each organ, and focus on [that] color for [that] organ, to clean it's energy.  White - lungs, red - heart, green - liver, yellow - spleen/pancreas, blue - kidneys.  And then when you exhale, you visualize exhaling orange tinged energy, which is supposedly the stale/used energy.  Spirals, meh, I may elaborate on that later.

In so many words, it feels good to visualize my lungs glowing a healthy white, and exhaling that nasty energy out, while my lungs heal in the absence of any kind of smoke.  Yah, I know, ecigs still, but that's vaporized nicotine/water.  Hehe, for that matter, I'm using nicotine gum too, while I am at work.  SO SUE ME  :P  hehe

Welp, my next day off is Friday.  That doesn't necessarily mean I won't post more artwork till Friday, but, well, that's most likely what it means  :P  hehe

Ok then folks, till next time


Thursday, March 8, 2012

If the same page is to be found, lets get on that plz.

I've been intending to make another picture of girl #1 for a few days now.  There is hesitation and reservation about continuing on this path.  I'm not entirely sure the exact cause(s) of this.

For example, I had intense dreams before getting up this morning, then again during an early nap.  These wiped out a bit of my energy before I even joined the waking world.

As far as counting goes, I've done it before, as some of you may recall.  At this point, I've counted girl #1 who happens to be from Romania.  [Before] her, there is a girl from Siberia who entered my numbers game, who I had intended to draw at least one picture of at some point in this new blogging go around.

But there is a third girl, that I would not have counted, as she seems even out of the scope of my crazy number schemes, but nonetheless, she has entered my equation.  She essentially would make girls #1 and #2 null and void, unless she wanted them to be still counted.  My whole plan was to end up with just one girl.  Hence the whole number series I have built my path upon being a series of reductive counting, ending at just 1.

Therefore, I would still like to draw more pictures of girl #1, and at least one picture of girl #2, being the Siberian girl.  Or at least last i knew, that's where she considered home.  It sounds odd saying the pictures I want to draw now are in a vane of paying tribute or respects.  But those are my thoughts about the pictures I would like to continue with at this point.

So, having made an attempt to find the same page for us to move forward from here:  now I would like to focus my energies on becoming part of the blogging community once again, and bring more artwork into this blog.

Thanks for your time.  I do look forward to following your blogs, and I think I shall start doing that today.  Hope morning coffee is still an option, cuz I've some experience with that.  And hopefully my dream computer will have no qualms with 100 tabs in firefox if it gets to that point again  :P

Alrighty then,


Friday, February 24, 2012

And continue here?

5 shades of french grey, sepia, beige, white, black...

So this is my fresh start, mm k?

I was inspired to give another go with colored pencils rather than pastels, or even going digital just yet.  Still working on using colors, if you may recall.  I think my next colored pencil piece, I will try to start with the lighter colors, and gradually step down into color depth and boldness.

And you most likely will be seeing more pictures of this particular girl.  Dunno what I'll call her on here.  I guess, we can do the number game again, and call her girl #1.  For the purposes of this blog at least.

Well, I really enjoyed doing some art again, and as u may remember, its not unheard of for me to do more than one piece of art in a day, or more than 2  :P  I gotta do some chores today, namely clean the kitchen.  WooT.

Soo, lemme get on that  :P

Alrighty then,


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Let us start here perhaps.

I have the next two days off.  2 days and only 2 items on my to do list  :P

So here is a digital piece of art created from a pen on paper piece of art that some of you may have seen before.

I like to call it "a seed budding".

I have a couple of ideas (couple may actually mean a few) brewing for my next piece.  Maybe I'll finish both of my to-do's by tomorrow, and have Friday to create something for here.  We shall see, shan't we.

Alright folks, till next time:


Saturday, February 18, 2012


Alright, I'm ok with slow starts.  New Revolutions and such of the nature of

1 2 3 4 7 14 21 28
1 6 28
1 5

So Let's try this shiznats again, shall we?  Maybe we should make a pact or something.  I won't delete any more of my art pieces, no matter how erotic they may be?  What ya fellows think of that?

hehehe  :P

oh, this is what I scored today  :)

And uhh, I think I forgot to let ya know I also scored a few weeks ago, this techno'd out piece of sweetness.

That's the watch.  Casio G-shock.  Second most exp watch I've owned, and by and so far the kewlest.

Alright,  On my to do list.
1) Install photoshop
2) Connect my Medium Wacom Drawing Tablet.

Alright, peeps:

Peace  ;)

Sunday, January 29, 2012

defeated, i'd like to stop repeating

today was more than i wanted, or not ?.  What do I want?  Do I want this shared One.  Why do I want anything ?  I once had the sentiment to become [part of] the pattern.  To experice all dark/light sentiments and by doing, efface my self, as a way to ... I have lost my meaning.