Thursday, July 18, 2013

is this simplifying? surely its a step, if slow...

From my previous plan, it's, at this point, trying to cement a daily meditation session within my life/days.  I feel like I'm moving in the direction i'd like to, however slowly.  Meditating more so, has got me thinking of myself and stuff as they relate to each other.  In simplifying, I'm finding the meaninglessness of excessive 'stuff', and I'm looking for what's left when that 'stuff' is removed, at least within my mind.  Surely, I am not my 'stuff.'  Somewhat of a negative perspective, I'm not left with so much in this thinking.  A more optimistic angle would be more freedom, seeing myself as unencumbered and/or bound when considering 'stuff/things'.

I am not, nor do I see myself, evolving towards getting rid of what I already own, but I'll probably spend more time/meditation in these considerations.  Some thoughts of returning [to myself] to enjoy life, are basically summed up in a visualization of sitting along some body of water, on grass, with nature.  Some possibilities to just enjoy time, such as going to the theater, visiting the library, walking around the mall, don't really resonate with me.  I guess, I really miss nature.  Maybe I should plant an idea somewhere in my mind to move back to the country some where/time.  I know I enjoy mountains more so than coast, as far as that thinking goes.

Well, more to the 'here and now,' I'm really enjoying vaping, as what I had previously known as e-cigs.  Guess I was out of the loop with the whole evolution of this technology 'till now.  I don't plan to try to cut back on the nicotine any time soon, as my last attempts at doing that with my earlier 'ecigs' failed last I tried. Today is day 9 of no real tobacco, and vs. the last tobacco-free stretch of 6 weeks, I have not cheated at all with actual tobacco.

and that's what i'll say, and [    ]'s what i won't  :P

but i'll say this, too:


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

well, i'd keep in mind emptiness

then i'd determine to deal with the fear of returning to thoz spzes

perahpz a sum of parts leaden detaIls, too

momentz, for spimples-ake

birds Ond swings

power memories share

actionz ackTd, foughts fade

dwepth in-ouT WiTHiN

calm retaind

communication saved [?]

and resolved a clicky

backed by earlier patterns

to be retained


and tHere


Wednesday, July 10, 2013

too much potential... i'll meditate in a few, i will...

sure, i've been meditating...  every day?  well today, I will...  must...  focus...

i think 50% of days i've been doing the 30 minutes sitting thing...  could be better...

well, this is the right direction, i'm sure...  quite

well today will be #1...  no tobacco, real cigs, black and milds...

one day, only yet begun, but yah, I'll count today as #1...

In other news, I was asked to become a Hostess at work...  well, apparently, a guy has never taken this position in anyone's memory, so I just finished my 4 days of training...  to be a HOST, darnit  :P

Friday and Monday will be my first days alone in this role, with a full weekend off in between (?!?!) well that's a good start.  Then yesterday I was asked which position I'd prefer once the new dietary company (as of march) implements it's intended changes.  I opted to think about it, at least until I perform this new Host position on my own Friday.

And as how meditation has been influencing my personal gunk...  At this point, I'm heading in the direction away from a ps4 or ipad5...  away, i say...  "let's simplify"...  "let's be at peace with myself"...  "let's be content with what is"...  lets....

puff this bad boy again  :)