Thursday, August 18, 2016

challenges #5

I've put off the challenges type post for awhile.  Hope that doesn't make it too broad this time...

I guess I'll start with the vaguenesses aspect.  At this point, it's still essentially a creative game of flirting with numbers.  Doubting reality.  Faith in imagination.  Limits for allowing possibilities.  Such like that.  In that line of thinking.  Highest stretch would be 28.  Of course as this would normally imply 29, I may apply "less is more" and make it a more respectable 28.  At least for the interpretation I choose to propose here.

12 for some reason is a number of import, and the highest number I could consciously hold in my awareness at one time, when I exercised that aspect of consciousness.  (yes, that was actually 13, pfft)  Anyhow, how to get to 28.  Well, time allows for limits while also holding a number such as 28 in regard/respect.  Anyway, logically, this could happen as 12-4-12.  With this series in mind.  12 has been settled.  4 somehow happened by accident, but I'll count it as solid, at this point.  I don't see a way to reduce back to 12, with integrity and honesty intact.  16 is not a shabby number.  I'll add that to my list of tao chapters on my list to interpret.  But between 16 and 28, there follows a space of 12.   And 28 jives better in my mind than does 16.  I guess that's enough of vague logic.

In other concerns:  The most recent exploration in the taoistic side of my being, location is of import.  I feel this can be interpreted in whatever way jives the smoothest.  Internet happens to be one "location" while my physical geographic location would be another.   In this latter respects, my dad is quite determined to leave this area, and my path is too humble in 'financial' regards, to support myself as is.  I shared a thought in my last group therapy, that if I had a couple of roommates, I may be able to swing renting this house from my father, whilst he moves closer to the grandchildren area of life.  Their concern brought up, was whether my dad would trust me for such an endeavor.  I think its a possibility.  How from here to there, I get, is simply possible potential.

Actually, from this noted separation of location into two parts.  I'd actually be more comfortable with my numbers as 12 (solid) - 4 (swing spaces) - 12 (4 noted)...  actually, for that last 12, its not exactly 4, but that is how I'd like to present it on here, at this point.

What else.  Ahh, the dreaded tobacco.  I've confessed an intent to more than one, that my next attempt will be tomorrow, in the evening part of the day most likely.  And that upon sticking to that, strive to complete all of saturday with no tobacco.  This is the little step/success that I need to embark on a real attempt at quitting, so that is my plan.  I did make it over 4 months, in my recollection, around last winter's time, so I do have a little faith that I can do it, and better yet again.

 Anything else for challenges?  Well, I still have to work on discipline for meditation, and I'd like to resume study of the T'ai Chi Ch'uan form I have set upon learning.  And games, I'd ideally like to have at least one session, every day.  Tough, as fun as they may be.  I feel they would go a far ways into grounding me in the real world, ironically enough.

So, cheers and peace, I wish, plz.

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